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Archive for January 1st, 2008

Rhode Island Votes To Move 2008 Primary To Tomorrow

The Onion
PROVIDENCE, RI—The Rhode Island legislature has passed a law moving the state’s presidential primary to tomorrow, forcing candidates from…

Edwards Discourages Sympathy Vote

The Onion
Presidential contender John Edwards said that he does not want people to support him just because his wife has cancer. What do you think?

[video] Condoleezza Rice To Voyage East

The Onion
The State Department releases details of Rice’s upcoming diplomatic journey.

Friend Who’s Into Politics Makes You Feel Stupid Again

The Onion
CHICAGO—Nate Carney, 28, your well-read, politically minded friend of eight years, made you feel ignorant again Tuesday with his incisive…

Hillary Clinton Tries To Woo Voters By Rescinding Candidacy

The Onion
DES MOINES, IA—”For the first time, she’s really speaking to the whole nation,” said pundit Chris Matthews about Hillary Clinton’s latest bid to appease constituents.

Hillary Clinton Inspires Young Girls To Form Presidential Exploratory Committees

The Onion
NEW YORK—Sen. Hillary Clinton’s (D—NY) preliminary announcement that she will seek the nation’s highest office is having a profound…

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