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    Archive for January 1st, 2008

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    [audio] Congress Overturns Ban On Lawn Darts

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

    [audio] President Bush Calls On Business Leaders To Create 500,000 Crappy Jobs

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

    [audio] Nigeria Elects Black President

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

    Tiger Woods Putts Baby Into Diaper

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    ORLANDO, FL—Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies…

    Fred Thompson Fears Presidential Run Will Typecast Him As Politician

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    WASHINGTON, DC—Veteran character actor and Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson expressed worries to reporters Tuesday that a…

    John Edwards Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

    The Onion
    DES MOINES, IA—Edwards’ “Only the Good Things” proposal builds on previous efforts to end bad things such as skinned knees, curse words, and splinters.

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