Archive for December 30th, 2007
MLS Signs David Beckham To 12-Team, $250 Million Deal
The Onion
LOS ANGELES—All 12 Major League Soccer teams pooled their money together last Friday in an effort to sign European superstar David Beckham…
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Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl
The Onion
CHICAGO—While coming up big in a 39-14 victory over the New Orleans Saints Sunday, the Chicago Bears single-handedly shouldered the burden…
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Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka’s ‘Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion’
The Onion
BOSTON—Now that Manny Ramirez has reported to camp and the spring-training opener against Minnesota is in the books, Red Sox fans are turning their attention to the awesome power rumored to dwell within much-touted off-season pitching…
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Rafael Nadal Credits French Open Success To Living In A World Of Clay
The Onion
MALLORCA, SPAIN—In a relaxed group interview given immediately following his record-tying third consecutive French Open victory, world No. 2-ranked tennis player Rafael Nadal attributed his astounding clay-court performance to staying…
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